Live from Austin!

Mollie Sugden dead
Mrs Slocombe is no more
Now her pussy weeps

I get annoyed by people who say “Oh, I never watch TV”. Sure, 90% of TV is crap; Sturgeon’s Law applies. Similarly, 90% of books are crap, but you wouldn’t hear the same people saying “Oh, I never read books”.

TV can be educational. It can even be educational and entertaining at the same time. You just need to be careful what you watch. Tonight I watched a couple of episodes of Penn and Teller’s show “Bullshit!”

I learned that until around the early part of the 20th Century, houses had a parlor. When someone died, the family would lay them out in the parlor, which was the room used for serious events. The family would clean and dress the body. Everyone would view the body in the home, satisfy themselves that the person was really dead, and do any grieving they needed to do. The body would then be taken to the burial plot, and simply buried.

Then around 1910, marketers decided that the parlor was old fashioned–and more importantly, that it was inappropriate for families to perform funerals themselves. The parlor was rebranded with a new name, designed to make it utterly clear that it was an inappropriate place for the deceased: “living room”. For your funeral services, you were to go to a “funeral parlor” and have things done by professionals. The old family heirlooms that reminded you of the past were cleared away, and new modern furniture replaced them.

The “funeral parlors” soon began inventing new services. Embalming, fancy caskets, and so on. It turns out that the funeral industry is sleazier than user car sales. My favorite bit of info from the TV show concerns rubber seals around the lids of coffins. Apparently these are often pushed as an expensive upgrade to protect the body from moisture. Unfortunately, the bacteria in the body chow down after death, producing gases. The rubber sealed coffin ends up like a pressure cooker, the body decomposes more quickly because of the heat and pressure, and eventually when the coffin loses structural integrity the liquified body tissues get pumped out through the cracks by the gas pressure.

Cremation isn’t much better. Prices vary by factors of ten, because the person doing the shopping isn’t in the mood to price compare. While you can get a $60 cardboard box, chances are they’ll try to upsell you to a $1400 wood coffin with extra fluffy pillows. (No, really.) Also, cremation’s not great for the environment, as it releases mercury from the fillings in people’s teeth.

There are alternatives, and home funerals are starting to come back into fashion. In Texas, you don’t have to embalm the body with toxic solvents; you don’t need a mortician’s license to transport the body; you don’t need a traditional fancy casket. If you want to dig a hole in the back yard, put your loved one’s body in, and plant a tree, as far as I can tell that’s legal as long as you own the land. (Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer and haven’t researched thoroughly, so check the facts before proceeding.)

Sure, Penn and Teller are abrasive, and sometimes miss the point. However, their show on the death industry ended on a great human note. They put it this way:

It may be hard to admit, but the dead are dead. Nothing you can do will please them. Ashes don’t know if they’re in a marble urn or an old Starbucks cup. The time to treat people right is when they’re alive. A ham sandwich, a soda and a joke now mean more to your loved ones than a $10,000 coffin after they’re dead. Which brings to mind one more thing: If you’re still lucky enough to be able to do it, call your mother. Yeah, right now. You don’t know anyone in the credits and they’ll be pretty much the same next week, so call your mom. Now.

(She’s on vacation in France, or I’d have talked to her already today.)

So, I’m back from a one week vacation in Virginia. We stayed in a castle on a mountaintop in the Appalachians, near the Blue Ridge Parkway. It was a pretty amazing experience. The place was like an English stately home–except that instead of being roped off and littered with “DO NOT SIT ON CHAIR” signs, we actually got to live there for a week.

It was the most relaxed vacation I’ve had in years. Lots of reading, gazing at the scenery, chatting with friends, and some hiking up mountain trails to break up the lazing around. People took it in turns to cook for the group, and we ate well.

While we were away, the budgerigars were looked after by friends. The birds apparently had a good time, as they didn’t seem to want to come home. The journey by car was quite hard for Chester; he’s a nervous bird, and took out his fear on Lola by pecking at her. Meanwhile, she was more interested in watching the outside world go past. They were both quite flighty when we got home, but the next day they were back to their usual selves–in fact, they were both very affectionate. It’s good to have them back, I missed them a lot.

The mountain weather was misty at first, and even when the sun came out the temperature didn’t go much above 20°C. Austin, on the other hand, hit 39.4°C in the shade this afternoon, and it’s humid too. Nice and warm, in other words.

IBM server hardware seems to have a vacation detector circuit, but people were kind enough to keep a few disasters for me to return to.

The liver is not supposed to be a user-replaceable part; that’s why the casing is sealed. Officially you’re supposed to replace the entire CEO and ship the old one off in a box.

I just watched The Year of the Sex Olympics . It’s a UK TV drama made in 1968, that was easily 30 years ahead of its time.

(Spoilers follow.) Continue reading »

“A large Pakistani flag flaps in the wind atop a tree-covered mountain…
In the past two years the army has twice failed to defeat the Taliban of Swat.”
– BBC News, 2009-05-23.

The Taliban of Swat

(with apologies to Edward Lear)

Who, or why, or which, or what, are the Taliban of Swat?
How did they get where they are today?
Were they funded and trained by the CIA, or NOT,
     the Taliban of Swat?

Do they issue demands? Do they boast to the press?
Are their writings in Urdu, or Arabic, or POLYGLOT,
     the Taliban of Swat?

Are they slow to recruit? Are there entrance exams?
Or will they accept any brainwashed religious CRACKPOT,
     the Taliban of Swat?

Is the Pakistan weather a pleasure to them,
Or do their black turbans result in their heads getting HOT,
     the Taliban of Swat?

After the bombs that they make detonate,
Do they bury their victims, cremate them, or leave them to ROT,
     the Taliban of Swat?

Do they pay for their murderous terror campaign
By trafficking heroin, crack cocaine, or POT,
     the Taliban of Swat?

Do they hate and fear the USA?
Are they hostile to Disney? Do they long to burn down EPCOT,
     the Taliban of Swat?

Is Al Qaeda’s jihad one which they also back?
Did they aid the attack on the Islamabad MARRIOTT,
     the Taliban of Swat?

Will the picturesque northwest of Pakistan
Ever again become a vacation SPOT,
     for the Taliban of Swat?

There’s a meme going around: in 15 minutes, come up with a list of 15 books that “will always stick with you”. Since lists on their own aren’t all that interesting, I’ve added some notes about why I’ve chosen these books.

1. “The Man Who Folded Himself”, David Gerrold.

   One of the great SF time travel novels. Take one ordinary guy, a time machine, and the many-worlds hypothesis, and watch everything go completely nuts.

   I nearly chose “When Harlie Was One”, another Gerrold book which is probably better from a literary standpoint, but the plot doesn’t quite stick in my head the same way, perhaps because I read it in a single sitting because I couldn’t stop.

2. “Ubik”, Philip K. Dick.

   Not Dick’s best novel, not his most striking, but one of the ones which is most typical of his writing, and one of the first I read.

3. “The Chain of Chance”, Stanislaw Lem.

   I’d love to say more about why this is great, but the less you know about it, the better it is. Don’t even read the blurb.

4. “1984″, George Orwell.

   Also known as the UK/US government instruction manual, 1984 onwards.

5. “The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy”, Douglas Adams.

   All of it. And the radio show scripts, if that’s not cheating.

6. “Obedience To Authority”, Stanley Milgram.

   Probably the most terrifying book in the world.

7. “Computer Lib / Dream Machines”, Ted Nelson.

   There’s a reason why this sells for outrageous sums second hand. Every page is full of wit, insight, and ideas. It set the direction of my academic and then my professional life.

8. “Alice In Wonderland / Alice Through The Looking-Glass”, Lewis Carroll.

   If there’s anyone who hasn’t read this: What is wrong with you?

9. “Getting Things Done”, David Allen.

   I don’t adhere to GTD religiously, but elements of it have been incredibly helpful to me. The only personal organization system that has actually worked somewhat for me.

10. “The Phantom Tollbooth”, Norton Juster.

    Like “Alice in Wonderland”, a book for kids that is smart enough to be entertaining to adults as well.

11. “The Book of the SubGenius”, Rev. Ivan Stang.

    The other face of religion in Texas. I bought copies for friends the first time I visited the USA.

12. “Principia Discordia”, Mal-2.

    While Subgenius is entertaining, I think that ultimately, Discordianism is the better religion, or the more long-lasting joke, depending on your point of view.

13. The complete short stories of Philip K. Dick.

    While Dick’s novels are often great, I think it’s in his short stories that he really shines as an author.

14. “The C Programming Language”, Kernighan and Ritchie.

    The first real programming language I learned was C. K&R set my expectations for programming language books; I look for the thin ones, not the doorstops.

15. “The Transparent Society”, David Brin.

    I was persuaded. I think this is our only viable choice. The way I live has changed accordingly.

I am cheap. I don’t think I go quite as far as being a tightwad, but I’m frugal. I buy generics at the supermarket and drugstore, and when I order from Amazon, I always choose the free shipping option, even though it sometimes drives me crazy waiting for the item to arrive. I don’t mind spending money on functionality, but I find it tough to spend extra for luxury.

Today, however, I did something I found difficult: I paid the extra money for seat upgrades for our trip to the UK later this year. We traveled that way on our last trip, and the 8 hour flight across the Atlantic was vastly more pleasant than the couple of hours in cattle class between Austin and Chicago.

I don’t want to risk arriving in the UK with my back in spasm, and having a miserable time for the next couple of months (including a 12 hour return journey). Another issue is that we’re only going to be there a week–so the less jetlagged we are on arrival, the better. There’s a third bonus, however: by going with British Airways, I managed to avoid Chicago O’Hare, Newark, and JFK. It’ll just be a short 1 hour hop in cattle class to Dallas, then the whole of the rest of the journey will be spent in relative luxury. I plan to settle down comfortably with the Kindle and read a book or two, then sleep a little after the 3-course dinner.

It’s more than I’ve ever spent on travel before. Last time the upgrade was about a 20-30% premium, this time it about doubled the price. Alarm bells rang at American Express, and I had to call them to confirm that yes, it really was me buying plane tickets. It then took six attempts before they could persuade their security system to let me complete the purchase. It seems they know my spending patterns pretty well.

My initial thoughts about the Kindle DX:

The price seems surprisingly reasonable. The iRex with an A4 size screen was over $800.

I’m not convinced that textbooks are workable on an e-book reader. You don’t read textbooks linearly. (Or at least, I never did.) The ability to flip around between marked locations is limited on the Kindle 2, and I’m guessing it will be on the DX as well.

On the other hand, the size and weight benefits are hard to deny. However, I never used to carry multiple textbooks around with me. Maybe American students’ habits are different?

It wouldn’t work for me as a general purpose device for reading novels as well as PDFs, because it won’t fit into a shoulder bag or reasonable size backpack. With a screen that big, it’ll be scarily easy to break by banging your bag against the corner of a table, unless you get some kind of metal hardcase.

Newspapers? Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see the ability to display text in multiple columns as that big of a win. Consider that most people under the age of about 50 get their written news from the web, where a single column for the stories is the rule. We went through all the madness of trying to make electronic pages look like newspaper pages ten years ago; it didn’t work as well as a simple clickable table of contents. I bet the newspaper guys think going back to multiple columns is a great idea, though. As for diagrams, the existing Kindle can display those fairly adequately, it’s mainly being held back by the content producers failing to include them.

What about magazines, which generally require color? If I’m going to be spending a big chunk of cash on something with an A4 screen, I want to be able to read Scientific American on it without compromises.

Overall, I’m more skeptical about this than I was about the original Kindle. I think I’d advise waiting to see what Pixel Qi come up with, not to mention the CrunchPad.

As the promised followup to my review of the Kindle 2, I’m going to go through some of the common objections to the Kindle that I see reposted every time it gets mentioned. I have no financial stake in Amazon’s success; it just annoys me to see the same misconceptions crop up time and time again. Continue reading »