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Quote of the week

Right-wing hero Cliven Bundy explains his views on social issues:

“I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro [...] in front of that government house the door was usually open and the older people and the kids — and there is always at least a half a dozen people sitting on the porch — they didn’t have nothing to do. They didn’t have nothing for their kids to do. They didn’t have nothing for their young girls to do.

And because they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do? They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton. And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.”

Meanwhile, a minor factual issue:

« Water rights were transferred too, but only to the ranch, not the federally managed land surrounding it. Court records show Bundy family cattle didn’t start grazing on that land until 1954.

The Bureau of Land Management was created 1946, the same year Cliven was born. »

Celebrating Put Your Children To Work Day

Congressional Republicans today marked their annual celebration of free market child labor. Festivities were started by Ralph E. Reed Jr, who handed out “Put Your Children To Work Day” T-shirts manufactured in sweatshops in the Mariana Islands and labeled “Made in USA”.

Guest speaker and noted Ayn Rand scholar Robert Hessen then gave a brief talk on the importance of child workers. “Today’s sweatshop children act as a stark reminder that we need total laissez-faire economics. Only then will capitalism put an end to child labor, as Ayn Rand explained.”

Asked by a reporter why laissez-faire had not ended child labor in England during the Industrial Revolution, Hessen explained that it had not been tried with sufficient rigor, and that obviously situations were different in Europe and their history had nothing to teach us.

Former Representative Tom DeLay then gave a moving speech telling the story of how he single-handedly blocked the Murkowski worker reform bill in 2000, protecting the rights of future generations of children to better themselves in the factories of the far east. “I urge you to get out there and support the repeal of minimum wage laws,” he added. “Your children won’t get a job if employers are expected to pay them $7 an hour. Do you want that job going to Chinese children? Or goddamn Mexicans?”

After a short break for refreshments served by unpaid interns, surprise guest Mitt Romney told an excited audience that his investments in Chinese sweatshop factories had taught him that American children still had a lot to learn about capitalism. “The last thing we want is today’s youth growing up thinking that they are entitled to food, housing, or healthcare. Too many children are part of the 47% who just want to take handouts from their parents and pay no income tax on their allowance.”

Hessen agreed. “It’s also immoral for today’s child parasites to think that they are entitled to Medicare and Social Security when they get old. That may have been true in Ayn Rand’s day, but God willing, responsible government by the Republican Party will solve the problem.”

To learn more about putting your own children to work, in industries ranging from iPod manufacture to chimney sweeping, visit the Department of Labor Division of Child Employment at dol.gov/dce.