16 November 2000


It was springtime, and the weather was starting to get hot. Bugs Bunny still had his winter coat of thick fur, and was getting uncomfortable, so he asked me to shave him.

I found a cartoon electric razor, and began carefully shaving him, making sure I went from front to back. He was on all fours, like a real rabbit. Unfortunately, when I turned him over and shaved his belly, I forgot that the fur went the other way, and ended up shaving a deep red bald patch.

I realized the reddened skin was translucent, and I could almost see inside. I pulled gently at some of the surrounding fur, and it pulled away. Moments later I was looking at the inside of Bugs Bunny’s rib cage. The ribs seemed to be barbecued.

Abruptly I wondered how I was going to explain this to him. I turned him the right way up again, and hoped he wouldn’t notice, but unfortunately he did: “Hey, what’s the big idea?”

I woke up.

© mathew 2017