“Hello, Percy.”

Today in the men’s restroom, I encountered a man who was standing at the urinal, talking to his penis. He didn’t have a mobile phone, with or without hands-free earpiece; there was nobody else in the room, and he wasn’t talking to me. He was just looking down at the thing, muttering something to it.

Is this something other men do, and I’ve just never thought to try it? What are the benefits? I can’t believe it answers back. Maybe he’s trained it to do tricks?