I think I missed that section of the Constitution

SUVs and being American

I’ve been invited to test-drive an SUV. As the front of the envelope puts it:

It’s the right of every
American to drive the latest
descendent of the original 4×4.

They’re referring to the Jeep Liberty (sic), a gas-guzzling four ton behemoth that gets 16 miles per gallon. To try to sell it as an “off road” vehicle, they’ve set up a special little course that you can drive it around. Careful perusal of the brochure reveals that the course has a maximum elevation of fifteen feet, which will surely give a nosebleed to the kind of terrified soccer mom who actually drives this kind of vehicle.