Live from Austin!

“You’re young, you’re drunk, you’re in bed, you have knives—shit happens.”

—Angelina Jolie

Microsoft is now claiming that their “switch” ad wasn’t a deliberate lie, and that they were the innocent dupes of a lying PR consultant who claimed to be a switcher. Mmm-hmm.

The VA sniper is watching the news media and noting their predictions just so he can mock them.

I’m surprised it’s taken this long for a case like it. I wonder whether it will result in any improvement in journalistic standards?

Sorry, stupid question.

If I wanted snow in October, I’d move to Minneapolis.

I guess Mark was right… it’s going to be a long, cold winter.

Say what you like, I still think Yello is the greatest rock band to have come out of Switzerland, bar none.

From the Washington Post:

A day after Congress voted to authorize Bush to use force against Iraq, a mass e-mail was distributed by the executive office of the president. It referred to Sen. Robert C. Byrd (D-W.Va.), who led the opposition to the resolution, as “doddering old Bob Byrd, the senile senator from West Virginia.” It called Hispanic Democrats in the House who opposed the resolution “self-centered, do-nothing, $150,000/year plus perks yo-yo’s.”

“If they have a defense for their actions,” the memo said, “they should deliver it to the kids in uniform that could one day have their ass shot off to protect these ninnies!”

[…]

Sources said a relatively senior Bush aide liked the memo and directed a young aide to forward it to Hispanic Republican activists; the memo was accidentally sent instead, without explanation, to a mostly Hispanic Democratic group.

“Before doing anything to a 3GB database, test and verify that what you are planning to do will actually fix the problem.”

There’s an IBM employee whose actual name is Mini Mathew.

“I will call him… Mini Mathew!”

As late as 1850, shoes were made on symmetrical lasts. Both shoes were identical. The concept of “left shoe” and “right shoe” did not exist. (Also, the plural in English was still “shoen” until the 1800s.)

Mentioned in an article about T-shirts without the annoying tag that makes your neck itch.

This kinda boggles my mind, like going to the art gallery and looking at all the paintings from around the time someone discovered perspective. In that case, did people somehow survive for thousands of years without noticing that things look smaller when they’re a long way away?

I also find it amazing that the ancient Greeks believed that the laws of motion were such that things moved in straight lines. They thought that a projectile moved in a straight line, then dropped to the ground. You’d have thought that five minutes watching people play throw and catch would be enough to disprove that one, but apparently not.

Someone called L MACKAY has signed up to receive a mail order catalog of porn DVDs from a company in Gary, Indiana.

I know this because he signed up using our address.

Actual porn movie titles from the catalog

Octo-cock.

Loving Thick Women. (Because it’s not brains men go for?)

The Biggest Pussy In The World. (Tubcat?)

Unusual Objects. (Not, in fact, a documentary about the Roswell incident.)

Girls Who Cum Like Men. (Yes, but do they grunt, roll over and fall asleep?)

Internal Ooze.