13 November 2002

True confessions

I feel bad that I don’t really have anything to contribute to Racheline’s True Confessions thread. Or at least, nothing that isn’t dull and obvious. For example, I like porn, but so does 97% of the male population. Someone posted that they have people on their friends list that they’d quite like to fuck… well, doesn’t everyone? At least one or two…

There’s a Momus song, Platinum, that includes the following lyrics:

If I told the truth I’d like to live my life again
Walk around my youth in somebody else’s skin
One life’s not enough for all that we contain
Nothing’s going to save us now

[…]

Take me to the place where my decisions are relived
Give me answers to the question
‘What would have happened if…’
Beyond the third dimension, beyond the fourth and fifth
In a parallel universe

This gets to the heart of the matter. Because it may seem bizarre, but I feel like I’ve missed out by not making all the fucked up mistakes other people have made. I spent most of my childhood working hard; either working hard on problems set by teachers, or working hard on problems I set myself. While other people were out getting drunk, stoned or laid, I was at home writing essays or grappling with 6502 assembly language.

I’d be the first to admit that things are pretty damn cushy now as a result. Yet I often think how wonderful it would be to have a second lifetime to do all the ill-advised stuff in. A second life in which to take up smoking, cheat on people, steal from shops, have one night stands, hitch-hike around the world, inject illegal drugs, try a career as a porn star, run up massive credit card debts, and so on.

And what is so sad about stickers on apples? I don’t get it.

© mathew 2017