Blue Balls for the Red States

From Harper’s Magazine comes an article listing some of the bizarre statements inserted in teaching materials by wingnut Christians pushing abstinence. My favorite:

Circle the item(s) that can be totally eliminated through the use of a condom: infertility, isolation, jealousy, poverty, heartbreak, pregnancy, AIDS, substance abuse, genital herpes, unstable long-term commitments, meaningless wedding, distrust of others, sexual violence, cervical cancer, personal disappointment, feelings of being used, pelvic inflammatory disease, loss of reputation, suicide.

Now cross out the item(s) that can be eliminated by being abstinent until marriage.

P.S. Abstinence programs don’t work, just in case anyone out there was laboring under a delusion. Here in Texas, they found that kids were more sexually active after abstinence lessons, though they generously gave the programs the benefit of the doubt and concluded that they were merely utterly useless.