Snakes On A Plane. You can just imagine the pitch meeting.
Turner: I have got this killer idea for an action horror movie.
Ellis: Sure, hit me.
Turner: OK, here’s the setup…there are a bunch of people on a plane. And the plane is carrying a load of, like, poisonous snakes. And the snakes are accidentally let out.
Ellis: Are you drunk?
Turner: No, listen, there’s more. Samuel L. Jackson is on the plane. He, like, kicks the snakes’ asses.
Ellis: I’m not sure snakes have asses.
Turner: Tails, then. But you get the idea…Samuel L. Jackson. In a plane. And the plane is full of snakes.
Ellis: So what’s it called?
Turner: Snakes On A Plane.
Ellis: I knew it, you’re baked.
Turner: No, it’s marketing genius. Nobody reads what it says on posters, we don’t need reviews, we don’t even need trailers—it’s, like, all there in the title. Snakes…On A Plane, man!
Ellis: Wow. It’s almost Zen-like in its minimalism. So outline the plot for me.
Turner: You’re still not getting it. I just did! It’s snakes…on a plane. Obviously I’ll get a few of my friends to help pad it out to an hour and a half, but it’ll practically write itself.
Ellis: OK, sounds good, get me a draft. Anything else?
Turner: Sure, and you’re going to love this. One word: sequels.
Ellis: Oh, yeah, I’m liking that.
Turner: There’s no telling where this baby could go. Snakes On A Boat. Snakes On A Train. Snakes On A Bus. Snakes In A Restaurant. Snakes In A Goddamn Movie Theater, and we drop rubber snakes on the audience half way through! It’s fuckin’ genius, man!
Ellis: Oh, yeah. I think I just creamed my pants. I’m taking this to New Line, Emmerich will green light this faster than Terry Gilliam can blow a budget. Let’s do lunch next week.
Let’s predict a few key bits of plot:
- Snake emerges from aircraft lavatory.
- Oxygen masks drop down, only some of them are snakes.
- Constrictor gets into lifejacket, is worn around neck.