May 24

Another interesting survey was about socks. It was a really long survey. It asked about my preference for different kinds of sock, using phrases like “crew”, “low-cut”, “high-performance”, “quarter”, “ankle”, and so on. I was mostly mystified as to the distinctions being made. Even now, I couldn’t define a quarter sock or a crew sock.

I do have opinions about sock material: I like cotton, and don’t like anything else. Oh, all right, perhaps a little Spandex for stretchyness. Oh, and I have some Birkenstock socks made of recycled plastic bottles, as a kind of experiment.

And yes, I also have opinions about sock color. I have two colors of sock: light brown, for wearing with khakis, and black, for wearing with everything else. I think there may also still be some really old white socks at the back of the wardrobe from a previous life.

Other than that, I mostly look for a decent thickness, the right size, and the right shape. You know, sock shape.

The survey asked my opinion about what kind of sock goes best with what kind of outfit. Well, I try to make the colors appropriate, but generally I assume people aren’t going to be spending a lot of time looking at my socks.

Then the survey also asked how different kinds of socks make me feel. That was a particularly difficult section to answer, because on the whole, socks don’t make me feel anything. In fact, if I notice my socks, it’s probably because they’re defective in some way–too cold, too hot, otherwise uncomfortable, or they just fell apart after only a few washes.

Maybe I just haven’t found the right sock yet; maybe there really are socks that make you feel energetic, attractive, or like a go-getter.

So all in all, it was a bit of an ordeal wading through a 15-20 minute survey about socks. The fascinating part was thinking about the fact that there are probably lots of people who actually have detailed opinions about socks. People who care what brand of sock they are wearing.
And worse still, there must be people whose job it is to come up with 20 minute surveys about socks. The poor bastards at the sock company probably spent several days in meetings brainstorming for questions. After that it probably took them weeks of conference table meetings to hammer out agreement between the various stakeholders over what the final wording of each set of questions and answers would be. There are people in this world who live, eat and breathe socks. Not literally, of course, but that would almost be preferable.

May 24

One of my random Internet pastimes is answering surveys. Partly I do it because I suspect I’m an interesting edge case for their data set, the exception that will prove their rules. Also, at the end they offer some of the statistics they’ve gathered, which can be interesting. And sometimes, the act of answering trivial questions can lead me to odd insights about myself.

Like just now.

It was a survey about motor oil. Since I’ve only been driving for a little under 3 years, and since we’ve always taken the car to the dealer for its oil change, I’ve not had much occasion to learn about oil, or the oil changing process.

In fact, while answering the survey I realized that the sum total of my knowledge about oil changes is what I learned from the ubiquitous Castrol GTX ads on UK television in the early 80s.

Specifically, I know three things: I know that Castrol GTX is a brand of oil. I know that it is viscous and golden in color.  And I know that if you pour it gradually onto a sheet of metal on which a metal spanner is resting, it will cling to the edges of the spanner and flow around it.

And now that I pause to think about it, two of those things might be totally untrue.

But there’s something a little disturbing about the idea that if I had to go buy oil for the car right now, I’d probably buy Castrol GTX, simply because of a TV advert shown 25 years ago (and thousands of miles away); an ad that didn’t really work on any level beyond pure abstract brand awareness.

And even more amazing is that with less than a minute of effort I managed to locate the ad on YouTube.