Sep 07

Text from a memo found in terror leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi’s hide-out:

As an overall picture, time has been an element in affecting negatively the forces of the occupying countries, due to the losses they sustain economically in human lives, which are increasing with time. However, here in Iraq, time is now beginning to be of service to the American forces and harmful to the resistance [...]

In general and despite the current bleak situation, we think that the best suggestions in order to get out of this crisis is to entangle the American forces into another war against another country or with another of our enemy force, that is to try and inflame the situation between American and Iran or between America and the Shi’a in general.

[...] We have noticed that the best of these wars to be ignited is the one between the Americans and Iran, because it will have many benefits in favor of the Sunni and the resistance [...]

Sometimes you have to wonder whose side the US government is on.

Sep 07

Proposal:

Instead of giving hurricanes and tropical storms the same boring names time and time again, we should sell naming rights to the highest bidder. Tropical Storm Scion xA! Hurricane X-treme Cheddar Doritos!

Weather maps could show the corporate logo in the middle of the storm.

And here’s the best bit: money raised could go towards relief efforts.

You may think corporations wouldn’t want to be associated with life-destroying disasters, but we’ve already seen the Chevrolet Avalanche and Oldsmobile Tornado, no doubt soon to be followed by the Mitsubishi Tsunami, the Toyota HSN1, and the Ford Wildfire.