Haute: The EZ of 2011

Groupon in Austin today was a special from a company calling itself Haute Cakes Couture Desserts.

Let me explain why that’s a horrible name for a company.

Firstly, “Haute” is pronounced “oat”. So it’s oat cakes. Oatcakes are a kind of flat unleavened Scottish cake. They’re nothing like the cakes the company sells.

Secondly, “Couture” is dressmaking. So put together all the concepts the name brings to mind, and we have “Fashionable dry oatmeal pancake dressmaking desserts”. What?

Austin seems to be experiencing an infestation of “Haute” businesses. There’s Haute Haus Creative, for example, who erroneously claim Haute is pronounced “hot”. No, guys, you’re wrong, and you just make me think you’re uneducated. And if you were right, what would that imply about Haute Baby? Am I meant to be thinking of W.C. Fields, who when asked if he liked children, asked “Boiled or fried”?

Meanwhile, there’s Haute Dog, which is at least about dog fashion, even if there’s a nod to mispronunciation. What with articles about “B’Austin Terriers”, at least the punsters on staff are having a good time.

My point is, though, that in a few years “Haute” in a business name is going to be about as clichéd as “EZ” or “‘n’”.