2013: Year in review.

It seemed to me like 2013 was a particularly strange year. As evidence, here is a condensed summary of the news stories I posted about on Google+ this year. If you like this sort of thing, I plan to post the links on my own web site in 2014, so feel free to subscribe.

Oxfam International reported that the combined income of the 100 richest people in the world could end global poverty four times over.
A man with 60kg testicles had them surgically removed, but was unhappy to be left with a 1″ penis.
McDonald’s pulled their employee resource web site after noticing it recommended against eating fast food.
A nuclear missile base in Montana was attacked and damaged by ground squirrels.
The US government’s catalog of software security vulnerabilities was taken offline after it was discovered to be infected with malware.
Dick Cheney canceled a trip from Washington DC to Canada, complaining that Canada was too dangerous.
The skeleton of Richard III was found under a car park in Leicester.

Scientists discovered that saturated fat is mostly harmless, and that low fat foods which tend to be higher in sugar are a major health problem.
One of the inventors of RSA public key cryptography was prohibited from lecturing at an NSA security conference, for security reasons.
A former Nazi SS commander was discovered to be living in Minnesota.
Iowa began granting gun permits to blind people.
A passerby dressed as Batman helped save a cat from a house fire and gave it mouth-to-mouth.
A swimming pool in the UK was cleared after an artificial leg was mistaken for a pedophile.
A man in Ohio was told that he was still legally dead, as he’d missed the deadline to appeal.
During Ramadan, Guantánamo prison provided synchronized force-feedings after sunset and before dawn so that prisoners could remain observant.

Carmel, CA introduced permits for anyone wishing to wear high-heeled shoes.
Acetaminophen was discovered to reduce fear of death.
The mayor of Toronto smoked crack and was praised as fiscally responsible.
LA police started using airborne robot drones to hunt for criminals.
A UK school was criticized for offering a pupil supervised self-harm sessions with sterilized razor blades.
The pyramids and sphinx were covered in snow.
The hotel that inspired “The Shining” decided to dig up a pet cemetery.
The President of the USA gave a speech with fake simultaneous sign language.
Experian credit rating agency sold data to an identity theft service.
On an NRA-funded hunting show on NBC TV, the host shot an elephant in the face and then compared his critics to Adolf Hitler.

Rich people started storing their own cloned stem cells for medical use later.
In London, a walrus was found in a coffin at St Pancras station.
A feral pig in Australia drank 18 cans of beer and started a fight with a cow.
The NSA infiltrated World of Warcraft.
Texas approved renaming the slave trade as the “Atlantic triangular trade” in school textbooks.
Prairie dog language was decoded, and scientists discovered they had words for how fat different humans are.
A terrorist suspect offered live coverage of the manhunt for him via Twitter.
A Chinese zoo introduced a tiger petting zoo.
A UK businessman was found guilty of selling dowsing rods as bomb detectors in Iraq.
The world’s biggest online advertising company bought a company specializing in military robots.

TV news reassured people that Santa and Jesus were white.
A Russian performance artist nailed his scrotum to the ground in Red Square.
DC Comics launched a comic which invited fans to submit pictures of a female character committing suicide in the bath.
The Obama administration requested that the Bush administration be granted immunity from war crimes prosecution.
A fundraiser for the Colorado Avalanche Information Center was interrupted by an avalanche which killed 5 people.
A luxury hotel in South Africa set up a fake slum that tourists could visit without having to encounter crime, disease or poor sanitation.
Turkey made the letter ‘Q’ legal.
China sent police geese out on patrol.
A woman in Texas was sentenced to 70 years in jail for stealing Christmas decorations and power tools.

A woman dressed as female genitalia fought off a street attack on a man dressed as a giant penis.
The UK government sent people text messages asking them to deport themselves.
A Florida woman renewed her marriage vows with a Ferris wheel named Bruce.
A satirical Bitcoin variant Dogecoin was launched, and shortly after there was a massive Dogecoin heist.
Supporters of the far-right British National Party were chased through London by women dressed as badgers.
Charity organization Homeopaths Without Borders delivered tiny quantities of water to sufferers of malaria, typhoid, cholera, and dengue fever.
Doctors grew a replacement nose on a man’s forehead.
Vanilla Ice joined the Amish for a reality TV series.