Mozilla selects new CTO

The Mozilla Organization today sought to provide further support to beleaguered CEO Brendan Eich, who has been facing criticism over his donation of $1,000 to California’s Proposition 8 campaign to ban same-sex marriage.

Mozilla announced that Eich will now be joined by a new Chief Technical Officer, the rotting corpse of Fred Phelps.

“Yes, technically he’s dead,” admitted Mozilla HR director Ian Competenza, “But that means his offensive actions are all in the past, and must therefore be forgotten. His last public appearance with a sign saying ‘GOD HATES FAGS’ was in 2012, which is ancient history.”


Asked if Zombie Phelps had the technical skills necessary to head a free software project, Competenza replied “True, he can’t write a line of code, but on the other hand he won’t invent anything like JavaScript, so we feel it’s a wash.”

Activists have renewed calls for a boycott of the Firefox browser, but Mozilla fans are quick to counter that a boycott would be unfair on the organization.

“Everything Fred did over the past decades was completely legal,” said a hacker who declined to give his name but mentioned that he had several gay friends. “That means his actions in no way disqualify him from this figurehead role. Call off the witch hunt, people.”


Mozilla have also announced the revival of their popular “Best viewed with Firefox” web badge campaign. The new “GOD HATES CHROME” and “IE == MALWARE ENABLER” signs will be accompanied by a nationwide advertising and picketing campaign.

Asked whether such divisive moves were good for the health of the open source Mozilla project, an anonymous employee commented: “As it says in big letters on the front page of our web site, ‘Doing good is part of our code’. What better way to do good, than to provide a prestigious well-paid job to a hated bigot?”