Oct 06

Q: What are some good but not the usual types of dates?

A: The Barhi date is superb in quality; the Deglet Noor is less sweet and somewhat dry in flavor.

Q: Is it wrong to use Crisco as a lubricant?

A: Yes, it’ll ruin your transmission.

Q: what to use for black man hair loss?

A: A Dustbuster?

Q: What are some good tips to stop procrastination? [...] Does anyone have any tips to help me buckle down and do some work?

A: I’ll post some in a couple of days.

Q: which ways can you tell if a guy has a big penis?

A: If your jaw gets sore, that’s a sure sign.

Q: any help on writing an apology letter on theft?

A: Don’t use the stationery you stole.

Q: my laptop has been intruded by thousands of ants. How to get rid of it?

A: If it’s a Dell, don’t worry… the ants will be driven out when it catches fire.

Q: what happens inside ur head or brain when u get dizzy from spinning around and around and around?

A: Sometimes your brain comes loose and keeps spinning after you stop. This is called dizziness. Usually the brain will slow down and settle back in its normal position after a minute or two. However, in some cases it ends up backwards. This can be bad, as your ears end up connected in reverse, with the left ear connected to the right side of the brain and vice versa. If you find that your iPod headphones sound better when they’re the other way around, this has probably happened to you. It can be fixed by spinning around fast in the opposite direction.

Q: What is your worst fear right now?

A: Answering questi… AAAAARGH!

Q: Guys have u ever actually dated anyone who looked like a playboy bunny?

A: No, but I dated someone with teeth like a rabbit.

Q: What is water polo like?

A: The hardest part is making sure the horses don’t drown.

Jul 17

Yahoo added this area where people ask (mostly dumb) questions, and anyone can offer their (frequently uninformed) answers.

It’s strangely addictive. It’s a bit like the Internet Oracle, without the stale old traditions said institution picked up over the years.

I tend to alternate between useful and bizarre/smartass answers. Some examples of the latter:

Q: What in your toilet can make the water blue? I haven’t put tabs in for months.

A: Is it an atomic toilet? If so, it could be Cherenkov Radiation.

Q: Is there a differance between the sound of an emergency vehicle in Italy and one in the U.S.?

A: Yes. The one in Italy will sound a lot quieter, because it’s very far away. Unless you’re in Europe, in which case the one in the USA will sound quieter.

Q: My 14 yr old son is always masturbating … I have also caught him with dirty movies. Is he going through a phase?

A: Yeah, it’s a phase men go through. It’ll stop when he hits 65 or so.

Q: Does anyone have chickens?

A: No, nobody does. Chickens are a myth perpetrated by the egg conspiracy.

Q: Is there a way to develop psychic intuition?

A: I think if you concentrate you’ll know the answer.