Live from Austin!

Would you like to see some video of Chester enjoying his disco ball?

Chester the parakeet has been molting for several weeks now. Shortly after he started, I decided to collect the feathers. A pillow is out of the question, but I think I want to put them on a black background and photograph them. It’s quite amazing how many feathers a small bird can shed; at the worst point, about 20 per day.

Molting is a tough time for birds, and the process has made him itchy and cranky. He basically wants to be left in his cage, and has even pecked at my hand when I’ve taken him out. I’m a bit conflicted–since he wants to be left alone, maybe I should do that, but everything I read tells me that parakeets need out-of-cage time every day.

It might help if he was interesting in bathing. Yes, budgerigars are desert birds, but would it kill him to take a bath at least once a week? Mind you, today I misted him from a squirt bottle and he actually seemed to be into it for a while, or at least he didn’t climb the walls to get away from the water like he used to.

A local pet store has a sign up that says Parakeets will make your dreams come true!

This may be a justified claim, under certain circumstances. For instance, if you’ve ever had a dream about giant Marshmallow Peeps coming to life and pecking you in revenge, a parakeet can certainly make that dream come true. More appealingly, though, if you’ve ever wanted to be like Saint Francis of Assisi, that’s a dream parakeets have the power to help you with. Or you could be like Uncle Remus with a blue bird on his shoulder.

The bird has proven to be a somewhat expensive dream come true, however. A budgerigar is about $20 in the stores, but if you buy a baby budgie from a small breeder like we did, it’s a little more expensive. You also likely have to follow the buddy-up procedure. But that’s just the start.

Next there’s the cage. We got about the largest we could find with parakeet-size bar spacing, solid metal. I forget how much we paid, but cages run about $60-100.

Then you need perches and toys. Since budgerigars are miniature parrots, they need mental stimulation: brightly colored toys they can climb on, objects they can peck and pull at, bells, and so on. Plain wood perches like the dowel that comes with the cage are bad for bird feet, so natural wood perches are a good idea, and those can be surprisingly expensive for a product that literally grows on trees.

(We also got a fluffy bed, which he snuggles into when he’s feeling chilly. The first morning after we put it in the cage he had ‘bed head’ when he got up, which was hilarious. Also, when I go to cover the cage, sometimes I get to see him shuffle over into bed. Very cute.)

Then there was the initial vet checkup. We did it to be on the safe side, and so that the vet would have some baseline info on the bird. Then things got expensive, as we had to replace all our cookware.

The problem is, Teflon (PTFE) non-stick coating gives off toxic fumes when heated, assorted fluoride compounds. While the fumes are arguably safe to humans at the levels emitted during regular cooking, they are apparently much more deadly to birds. Opinion seems to be mixed as to exactly how deadly, and to make matters worse, there’s no warning–humans can’t smell the gas, so one minute you’re making an omelette, the next minute you’re equipped to take part in Monty Python’s most famous sketch.

We decided we had to play it safe. So, we replaced all our pans with stainless steel. New saucepans, new frying pans, new wok, new crepe pan, new baking sheets.

So overall, the actual price of the bird is a tiny fraction of the cost of getting a budgie, 10% at most. It still seems a bit odd, really, that the bird is so cheap when the actual investment required (in time and money) is so significant. With other pets, like a dog or cat, you at least have to come up with a chunk of cash for the animal. Hence the regret seen regularly on budgie forums, that people buy them because they look cute and are cheap, not understanding what they’re getting into.

We were at an outdoor street fair the other week. Someone was selling budgies, giving away a free cage with each bird. Needless to say, the cages weren’t really large enough to be a parakeet’s primary cage. It made me angry, but what can you do? I have to remind myself that millions of small birds die every day, of hunger or predation or illness. I can only make sure our bird is well looked after.

We’ve been wanting some sort of pet for a couple of years now; rothko more than me. We both love cats, but with my cat allergy that just wasn’t an option. (I’ve heard about a breed of Russian cat that supposedly lacks one of the genes that leads to the salivary protein that triggers the allergy in humans; however, they’re a pretty rare breed, so I haven’t encountered one I could test.)

I’ve grown to like dogs. I hated them as a kid, but I really liked Martha’s beagle. We considered an Italian greyhound. I gave one a thorough allergy test, sniffing deeply. No problems on that score. But it would have fallen onto me to walk the dog, and I just couldn’t deal with having to pick up feces.

For a while we thought we might get a couple of ferrets. We bought magazines, read books, and gave the matter careful consideration. Certainly they’re cute, entertaining, and I like all kinds of weasels. We almost went the ferret route, but ultimately we decided against it. The main problem is that our house just isn’t even close to ferret-proof, and it would be a massive adjustment to make it so. Plus, they need very hands-on constantly supervised playtime every day, and we couldn’t come up with a good location for the cage. Overall, I just didn’t think we would be able to do a good enough job of looking after them.

Then rothko got enthusiastic about birds.

I have to say that initially, I had no enthusiasm for them at all. But then we looked after Jennifer and Chris’s canary while they were away for a couple of weeks, and the little guy’s cheerful cheeping grew on me. He seemed to love the noises the Wii made while I was playing Super Mario Galaxy. I’d wake him in the morning and chat to him each time I walked past. He’d flutter around, tweet back, and eye me curiously.

We started with the research again, and soon started to focus on parakeets; specifically, American budgerigars. Unlike canaries, you can let them out of the cage, have them sit on your finger or shoulder, let them play on toys, and so on. They’re basically miniature parrots, they like to be talked to, and many learn to talk back–it’s not unknown for a parakeet to have a vocabulary of a couple of hundred words. They also like music and occasional gentle grooming.

There was a minor problem, though. Budgerigars were a huge fad in the 1970s in England, and even the word "budgie" immediately reminded me of the 70s–and not in a good way.

However, it turns out that there are two kinds of budgerigar : the English budgie is the larger bird with the fluffed up inset inbred face that I find unattractive, while the American budgerigar, more often called a parakeet, is more svelte and avian. Also, there are colors other than the yellow, green and blue stereotypical shades that make me think of flared trousers.

So, we looked at parakeets. We got a nice large cage. And last week, we went to a store that had a new shipment of birds, and selected a blue-gray one who seemed to have a reasonably nice boyish disposition. (The males are more likely to talk, but it’s impossible to sex them until adulthood unless you get them DNA tested.)

The store likes to keep the birds paired up while they get used to their new cage, and have you visit them for a few days to handle them and have them get to know you. I was a little concerned about our ability to tame him, as initially he was fairly flighty and bitey. However, by the time we left on Friday he would sit on a finger for ten minutes at a stretch while we talked to him, so I think he’s going to be fine.