Tag Archives: Dallas

Pants!

Apparently Sunday was a bit of a slow news day for the Dallas/Fort Worth Star-Telegram. I have to wonder how their graphic artist reacted when asked to draw the all-important inset map.

Monday was somewhat more exciting, for me at least. I went to put on the usual “I’m a responsible adult with a job” clothes, and discovered that the pair of khakis I had grabbed and stuffed into my case were too small. I don’t know when I bought them, but they were not only too tight around the waist, they were also a bit too short. While I could just about squeeze into them, the result looked uncomfortably close to comical, and didn’t really allow for breakfast. I had a long day ahead. This would not do.

I had the car direct me to the nearest strip mall, where I found a Kohl’s store. By a stroke of luck, they were having a massive sale on khakis. I soon found the perfect pair, at 30% off. (Cotton, pleated, easy fit, 34/34, permanent crease, anti-wrinkle, in case you care.)

Returning to the car, I ripped the tags off my new clothes and considered what to do next. I thought about the possible headlines: Pantsless IBM employee arrested in car, Early morning shopper shocked by hairy legs. No, not worth the risk. So I went to IHOP, ordered breakfast, snuck into the gents’ lavatory, and changed there. After breakfast I spent a little quality time at Fry’s Electronics before the first session at the IBM event. (Still haven’t managed to find a Wii.)

The rest of the day was pretty dull, as was Tuesday. The drive back was largely uneventful. There were the usual SUVs driving at 15-20 mph over the speed limit and weaving across lanes without signaling, but that’s just Texas. I stopped at a Starbucks in Waco, and eventually got home safe but tired.

Today I mostly caught up on e-mail, then for spouse night we went to Taste of Austin. My back is still sore from spending too much time sitting in bad hotel chairs, but I’m hoping it will be back to normal after another night in bed.

Bigger than France

I’m in Dallas for a business event. I decided to drive up, rather than deal with airlines and security and all that hassle. Average travel time by air is 1 hour. Add in 1.5 hours at the airport, and a 3.5 hour drive starts to look pretty attractive.

A good way to get a feel for the size of Texas is to drive across it. A good way to get a feel for Dallas Fort Worth airport is to note that it’s larger than the whole of Manhattan island. Texas itself is bigger than France; they sell T-shirts that say so at the mall.

The journey up was mostly uneventful. There were plenty of pickups and SUVs weaving across lanes without signalling, but that’s normal for Texas. The most amusing incident was when I was passed by a pickup that had been painted in a desert camouflage yellow color. I noticed on the door that the driver had wanted to suggest his involvement in the first Iraq war: he had stuck on some vinyl letters that spelled out

OPERATION
DESSERT STORM

Maybe my laughter was uncalled for; maybe he’s actually a pastry chef. I was tempted to try for a photo, but I’d have had to accelerate to about 80 mph to catch him, and then operate a camera with one hand while driving, and it just didn’t seem like a good enough reason to risk death.

One of the things I’d like to do if I were rich, is start a restaurant. I decided years ago that I’d have a Desert Menu. The items on the menu would all be named after actual deserts; the Gobi would be (say) green tea ice cream, the Keros would be baklava, the Great Victoria would be pavlova, the Karakum would be Turkish delight, the Chihuahuan would be flan, the Antarctica would be ice cream, and so on.

Snail mail

I ordered a book online. It was dispatched from Dallas, TX, zip code 75199, on October 10th. It arrived a few minutes ago.

According to Google Maps, it traveled approximately 225 miles. It took 20 days to do so. That means it moved at an average speed of just under 0.5 mph.

A human can walk around 20 miles per day. So it would literally have been faster for me to walk to Dallas, buy the book, and walk back, resting in hotels along the way as necessary.

On a related note, we’ve shipped our Christmas gifts to the UK, so they should actually get there in time, and we didn’t have to pay a small fortune.

The L word

You’ve all seen that “looter” is an irregular verb for white people in the media: “I am commandeering essential supplies, you are finding essential goods, they are looting”. You’ve also all seen the compassionate Conservatives criticizing people for not evacuating. Here’s something new: calling people looters for stealing an abandoned bus in order to evacuate.

Ask yourself this: If I were in New Orleans wading through sewage-filled water and dodging bullets, if I’d waited days to be evacuated by the authorities but seen no action on their part, would I steal a bus to survive?

Speaking personally, hell yeah. I’d steal anything up to and including an army tank in order to get myself and my friends and family to safety. Not that I’ve ever driven a tank, of course; but I’m sure I’d learn pretty quickly with that kind of motivation. And this guy packed the bus with complete strangers and drove them non-stop to Houston.

The news media call it an “extreme act of looting”. I call it taking initiative and showing compassion for your fellow man.

Actually, maybe I should take some tank-driving lessons in Dallas. You never know when something like that will come in handy.

Dallas

It appears I have located another job within IBM. What’s more, it’s one that’s entirely suited to my skill set, in the technical sales part of the organization. My appetite has come back with a vengeance.

On Saturday we went on a day trip to Dallas. Kind of insane if you look at the map, but [rothko] had a business meeting, and I didn’t want her to have to drive for 8 hours given her tendonitis. Plus, I needed some distraction from my work situation.

We met up with [stick_figure] and had some lunch; then [rothko] took the Prius to Arlen—er, Garland—and [stick_figure] and I went to the aquarium.

If you know me, you can probably guess the big appeal of the aquarium: otters. In fact, the Dallas World Aquarium is the only place in the US to have el lobo del rio, the Giant River Otter of the Amazon. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a 5′ otter.

Dealey Plaza was a strange experience. It’s more or less exactly as it was in 1963. The picket fence is still there, with the car park behind it.

Dallas

Trying to decide whether to make a day trip to Dallas on Saturday. I’ve always kinda wanted to go see Dealey Plaza and the grassy knoll, but I expect it’s something of a disappointment in real life.

Vegas again

Well, here I am back in Las Vegas for another big IBM event. The flight here was pretty uneventful, except that I was so early to the airport that I was able to get bumped up to a standby seat on an earlier flight to Dallas, giving me time for a relaxed (albeit crappy) lunch.

When I arrived at the Venetian Hotel in Vegas, they didn’t have a reservation for me. Or at least, not for the day on which I was actually arriving. Fortunately, the company that had arranged the hotels and travel for IBM had a desk right there, and I queried the situation with them. They had a different view of the world to the hotel’s. I stood around for 15-20 minutes for a reconciliation to take place. First I was offered a smoking suite instead of my booked room, and asked if that was OK; I said that no, not really, it wasn’t. There was some more discussion with someone in an office out of sight. It turned out to be worth the angst and the wait, however, as I ended up with my own room. That may not sound like much, but IBM generally requires people to share rooms, even if that means sleeping on a fold-out sofa bed. Last year, that was my assigned sleeping arrangement, and I took the floor instead.

The café area containing the pedestal I’m helping to staff was a complete zoo last night, and I was already exhausted from a sleepless night followed by plane travel. As soon as possible I returned to the room and went straight to bed. I slept pretty well, and through the miracle of time zones managed to wake up in time for breakfast.

IBM takes the view that I’m definitely not here to enjoy myself, as breakfast starts at 6 and ends at 7:30. This is a deliberate ploy to push people to attend the first sessions, which start at 8. It wouldn’t be so bad, but the days typically go on until the other 8, and I’m the kind of person who doesn’t usually see 6am unless he’s failed to go to sleep the previous night.

As was the cast last year also, the Venetian Hotel was hosting another event at the weekend. Porn queen Jenna Jameson returned to her home town (they must be so proud!) to host yesterday’s big AVN Awards. I haven’t seen anyone who’s obviously a porn star this year. I did think it would have been cool to get my picture taken with Ron Jeremy, if I had happened to see him wandering past. I’d also have been willing to do my best to settle the question of whether Asia Carrera is really a Linux geek.

This morning’s big kickoff didn’t really have anything to compare with Steve “Monkey Boy” Ballmer, and didn’t seem as good as last year’s. Part of the problem is that the star guest was some Olympic sports athlete I’d never heard of; I’m sure there are lots of sales guys who get pumped up by tales of sporting triumph, but I just don’t get sports at all. Bread and circuses, people!

After that, I unexpectedly turned out to have the afternoon free. However, it’s cold and rainy outside, the network’s down, and I’m tired again already, so I think I’m going to take a nap… Oh, the exciting life I lead.

Travel ambitions [updated]

A question from Dan

What are the top ten places you want to visit before you die (they can be places you’ve already been, if you want to go back)?

Well, I don’t keep a list, so I might miss a few important ones, but here are ten…

I’d like to go to Japan. I think it would probably require that I be accompanied by someone who spoke some Japanese, however.

Paris again.

Rome again, particularly the Pantheon. I could give the Vatican a miss second time around. Generally the Roman stuff in Rome is the stuff worth seeing.

I’d like to go to Dealey Plaza, and visit the book depository. Bill Hicks did, and said that it was obvious that there was no way even a marksman could have shot JFK from there, which intrigues me. I expect there’s not much reason to go to Dallas, though.

Amsterdam, to check it out as a possible place to escape to. [Done!]

The Moon, or at least low Earth orbit. I suspect I’m going to have to learn to live with disappointment, however.

When I was younger, I always wanted to go to Colorado, particularly Boulder. I’m not really sure why, I just did—rather like how I always wanted to go to Canada, and people would always ask me why.

I’d like to go to a Skunk Show. There’s one in Ohio and the big one down in Florida.

Las Vegas. Just to get the full-on USA experience. [Done!]