Live from Austin!

Well, I think the dentistry went well, though it’s hard to tell from the memory fragments I’m left with.

I remember laying down with a drip feed in my arm, and some sedative being introduced, and feeling a bit spacey.

And then I remember being helped into a wheelchair, putting my feet on the metal footrests.

And then I remember someone saying to be careful not to hit my head on the roof of the car as I got into the passenger seat.

I remember rothko helping me walk through the back yard to the house.

And I remember waking up in bed late yesterday afternoon.

That’s about it. I feel like I ought to remember the 20 minute drive home, or walking up the stairs, or getting undressed and into bed, but I don’t. I certainly remember nothing of steel instruments slicing into my mouth.

Something gave me hiccups yesterday, probably drugs and liquids on an otherwise empty stomach. They’ve returned twice, but today I’m eating soup so hopefully they’ll go away. I can also drink coffee now, thank the bean gods.

The mouthwash isn’t as disgusting as the stuff I had when my wisdom teeth were extracted. I can actually taste things. So that’s a plus. I feel vaguely hamster-faced, like I have Silly Putty in my cheeks. At first I thought this was because I do, in fact, have the medical version of Silly Putty in my cheeks. However, a couple of bits fell off and I threw them away, and now the left lower gum has no putty but still feels like it does.

There are also some surgical threads here and there. I’m trying to ignore them but my tongue wants to play.

This whole gum surgery thing has been hanging over me for about 4 or 5 years, so the minor discomfort is more than overshadowed by the sense of relief that I finally did something about it.

Whenever I force myself to do something necessary but unpleasant or stressful, I try to reward myself. It’s an attempt at self-directed operant conditioning. When we finish filing our taxes, we generally go out for a meal afterwards. When I go to the dentist, I might ironically reward myself with a Krispy Kreme doughnut.

Which brings me to today. In a little while I’m heading to the dentist for gum augmentation surgery. They’ll be cutting some slices of gum tissue from the roof of my mouth and grafting them to the gums on my lower jaw. Everyone in my family has bad gum recession there, but hopefully if I get it sorted now I’ll be able to keep a full set of teeth for the rest of my life, as they’re otherwise pretty healthy. (Except robotooth, but that’s another story.)

The problem is, after the surgery is over I’m going to have to use disgusting mouthwash for a week. It coats the inside of your mouth with antibacterial chemicals, which is good, but has the side effect that you can’t taste anything except the vaguely plastic taste of the mouthwash itself.

So, what trivial but important reward can I give myself? The normal edible rewards aren’t going to work.

I’m going to be heavily sedated for the procedure itself, so perhaps spending a few hours in my happy place is reward enough?

At the weekend I cleaned the windows. A downside to a 2-storey house that I hadn’t considered is the difficulty of cleaning the windows on the upper floor. Rather than clamber on the roof or try to handle an 8m ladder, I bought a dispenser of window cleaner that attaches to the hose and sprays suds quite a distance. You then leave them for 15-20 seconds, and hose off. It did an adequate job. The ground floor windows I cleaned the old fashioned way, so we now have a much clearer view of passing arboreal rodents.

One day I may be rich enough that I’ll be able to buy furniture that doesn’t come in flat cardboard boxes and doesn’t need assembly. Not yet, though. So I also assembled our last remaining major piece of furniture, the sideboard for the dining room. The individual pieces were heavy enough that I had to be careful lifting them, so I carefully built the thing already in its final resting place. I also modified the assembly instructions to build it from the ground up, rather than build the entire thing and then have to flip it over to put the feet on the bottom.

As a result, pain. My back’s OK, but my legs are sore, which suggests that I’ve at least learned to lift things properly now.

Then on Monday, a woman in an SUV reversed into the Prius. Apparently her truck has a proximity sensor to stop you reversing into things, and it didn’t beep, so she assumed the coast was clear and carried on reversing. A great example of how a supposedly safety-enhancing feature can reduce safety.

So, tomorrow we need to go have the car looked at, and find out how much it’s going to cost us. I’m guessing it’s safe to assume a minimum of $500, as that’s our deductible. Also on Monday, rothko found out she needs some cracked teeth seen to.

So it’s basically been ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch so far this week.