(With thanks to Dante Alighieri and Evan Cordes.)
There are a number of people working in Open Source who have spent a lot of time developing a very distinctive and famous (or infamous) online persona. I’m thinking here of people like Theo de Raadt, Zed Shaw, Giles Bowkett, and so on. So why don’t they cash in on this brand equity with a franchising scheme?
Imagine it. Every major programming language could have its own licensed Zed Shaw. Every developer forum could have a local Giles Bowkett franchisee, giving the real Giles more time for coding. Want to get your patented algorithms inserted in open source projects? Call 1-800-DE-ICAZA. Need a rambling amusing talk to distract from your project’s lack of progress? Contact your nearest Larry Wall.
"I thought a repository was something you shoved up your ass until I discovered Ubuntu."
President Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word “tragedy”.
So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a “tragedy”. One little boy stood up and offered:
“If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy”.
“No,” said Bush, “that would be an accident.”
A little girl raised her hand:
“If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”
“I’m afraid not,” explained the President. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room.
“Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said:
“If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs Bush was struck by a friendly fire missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”
“Fantastic!” exclaimed Bush. “That’s right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” said the boy, “It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss, and it probably wouldn’t be a fucking accident either.”
One night George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing beside him. Bush looks up and asks, “George, what’s the best thing I can do to help the country?”
”Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,” Washington advises, then fades away.
The next night, Bush is astir again when he sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving silently around the bedroom. Bush calls out: “Tom, please! What is the best thing I could do to help the country?”
”Respect the Constitution, as I did,” Jefferson advises, and then dims from sight.
The third night sleep still evades Bush. He sees the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush lowers his voice and asks, “Franklin, What is the best thing I could do to help the country?”
In that golden voice of his, FDR replies, “Help the less fortunate, just as I did,” and then he disappears.
Bush still isn’t sleeping well the fourth night. He tosses and turns, and suddenly another figure moves out of the shadows. It’s the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. “Abe,” Bush pleads, “what’s the best thing I can do right now to help the country?”
Lincoln pauses, then replies, “Go see a play.”
Old school reports of the famous:
“He is an excellent pupil. Our only complaint is that he encourages all the other pupils to copy his work.”