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The Science Museum of Minnesota plans to shut down during the Republican National Convention next year so it can host convention events.

Presumably they’ll cover up the scary exhibits with drop cloths.

A study of the brains of political partisans shed some scientific light on the obvious, and will be worth remembering in this upcoming year:

The Democrats and Republicans were given a reasoning task in which they had to evaluate threatening information about their own candidate. During the task, the subjects underwent fMRI to see what parts of their brain were active. What the researchers found was striking.

"We did not see any increased activation of the parts of the brain normally engaged during reasoning," says Drew Westen, director of clinical psychology at Emory who led the study.

Yeah, no shit.

Once partisans had come to completely biased conclusions — essentially finding ways to ignore information that could not be rationally discounted — not only did circuits that mediate negative emotions like sadness and disgust turn off, but subjects got a blast of activation in circuits involved in reward — similar to what addicts receive when they get their fix, Westen explains.

"None of the circuits involved in conscious reasoning were particularly engaged," says Westen. "Essentially, it appears as if partisans twirl the cognitive kaleidoscope until they get the conclusions they want, and then they get massively reinforced for it, with the elimination of negative emotional states and activation of positive ones."

In other words, Washington was right.

This week the ACLU decided to stick their oar in regarding the vexed question of whether Larry Craig should have been prosecuted for soliciting gay sex in a restroom stall in Minneapolis Airport. Their logic was interesting. There is apparently case law in Minnesota to say that one has an expectation of privacy when in a bathroom stall, even if the stall is in a public place.

Therefore, the ACLU argue, it is entirely legal to have gay sex in the stall of a public toilet in Minnesota, since you’re doing it in private. Therefore, they conclude, the police had no reason to charge Larry Craig with lewd conduct; he was merely expressing an interest in pursuing perfectly legal private toilet sex in a public restroom–or to use what I gather is the technical term preferred by enthusiasts, ‘cottaging’.

Now, I don’t know whether it will stand up in court (ho ho), but it seems to me that the expectation of privacy pretty much ends once you stick your hand under the partition and wave at the guy in the next stall. Larry Craig wasn’t being spied on; he drew attention to himself. The ACLU’s decision to support Craig seems strange; I can only assume that they are trying to be fairer than fair.

What I find more bizarre, though, is the claim from many right-wingers that liberals would all have been defending Larry Craig if he was a Democrat. Maybe I’m out of touch. Perhaps they’re right, and the ACLU are merely speaking for all liberals in defending the right to cottage.

Well, I’m going to leap out of the toilet stall here and now, and declare that as a liberal, I am not in favor of cottaging.

See, when I go to the bathroom, I have only one kind of job in mind. I just want to find a clean toilet, perform whatever regrettable business is required, wash my hands, and be out of there. I do not want to be solicited for sex by a politician, not even if it’s Barack Obama. In fact, if Dennis Kucinich’s wife snuck into the men’s room, I still wouldn’t be interested. When I’m looking out for Number One, or Number Two for that matter, I don’t want a conversation. I don’t to make eye contact, let alone any other kind of contact. In short, I do not want to know that the rest of humanity exists. I just want a quiet, private moment to myself.

And that’s under the best of circumstances; because if it’s an airport restroom, I’m not going to be feeling at my best. I am not going to be feeling sexy. Although I may be about to take a ride on a jumbo, I’m not going to be interested in yours. While I’m always excited to get a glimpse into a cockpit… You get the idea. In the airport, you can pretty much guarantee I’ll be tense, tired and irritable. Sex of any kind will be the last thing on my mind.

OK, so you’re a Republican and you want to pick up guys for anonymous sex? Go to a gay bar. If the lavatory stall thing is such big turn on, I’ve got a radical idea: hang around a lavatory stall at a gay bar. You’ll be far less likely to bother someone who doesn’t want to be bothered.

In fact, if there’s enough pent-up demand, someone will probably start an exclusive vacation resort that offers toilet stall bridal suites, perhaps with nice padded seats and a ventilation system that can dispense a range of exciting fragrances. But in the mean time, your local gay bar will have to do. Life is harsh.

See, it’s all about context. Things which are perhaps appropriate in one context, may not be appropriate in a different context. Just because it’s appropriate to lie naked in a harness and get fisted at a private S&M club, that doesn’t mean we have to consider it appropriate in other similarly exclusive venues, such as the NorthWest Airlines executive lounge in Lindbergh Terminal.

Context, OK?

Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA) on Larry Craig:

“You don’t toss off, er, over, a friend of that duration … There’s been a lot of favorable talk about Larry in the cloakroom.”

About how everyone in the Senate thinks he’s a fine upstanding member, no doubt. Quoted in the Washington Post.

Reporter with CNN press pass arrested for asking Rudy Giuliani a question.

Mitt Romney calls for doubling the size of Guantanamo.

It’s pretty scary when John McCain is left sounding like the reasonable one.

If you’ve ever wondered who the unluckiest person in the world is, I think I’ve found him. His name is Abdul Rahim.

In January 2000, he was arrested in Afghanistan by the Taliban. They tortured him. They burned him with cigarettes, smashed his hand, deprived him of sleep, submitted him to water torture, and hanged him from the ceiling. Eventually he “confessed” to being a spy for the United States.

The prison Rahim was being tortured in was captured by US forces in January 2002. Given the circumstances, he probably thought it was his lucky day. He was wrong. The US promptly accused him of being an al-Qaida terrorist—and tortured him. Again.

He’s currently in Guantanamo Bay, one of the many people kept imprisoned without any actual criminal charges being filed against them.

Since Dick Cheney and friends are happy with holding people’s heads under water in order to extract information—they just argue that it shouldn’t be called torture—I imagine Abdul Rahim is pretty used to water torture by now.

The John McCain Suspension of Habeas Corpus / Ignore the Geneva Conventions Bill was getting me down this morning, but suddenly things have turned around. From AP news:

In a scandal guaranteed to anger parents, a prominent House Republican has resigned after the revelation that he exchanged raunchy electronic messages with a teenage boy, a former congressional page.

Rep. Mark Foley, R-Florida, who is single, apologized Friday for letting down his family and constituents. [...]

ABC News reported Friday that Foley also engaged in a series of sexually explicit instant messages with current and former pages, all male. In one message, ABC said, Foley wrote to one page, “Do I make you a little horny?”

In another message, Foley wrote, “You in your boxers, too? … Well, strip down and get relaxed.”

Foley, as chairman of the Missing and Exploited Children’s Caucus, had introduced legislation in July to protect children from exploitation by adults over the Internet. He also sponsored other legislation designed to protect minors from abuse and neglect.

“We track library books better than we do sexual predators,” Foley has said.

Wow. Even for a Republican, that’s pretty rich, and nothing gets my schadenfreude going like seeing someone nailed for rank hypocrisy.

Update: He’s a Scientologist. Jackpot!

Republican Strom Thurmond, who espoused racial segregation, had a mixed-race daughter.

Republican mayor of Spokane James West opposed gay rights, but enjoyed gay rites, trawling Internet chat rooms to find male lovers. He may also have molested a few children, but is still denying that.

Someone has leaked a spreadsheet listing the names, addresses and phone numbers of 1,649 registered delegates to the RNC convention in NYC.

On a not-totally-unrelated note, the official total US dead in the current Iraq war hit 1,000 at the end of last week. Our unlucky winner was Private First Class Luis A. Perez, 19, of Theresa, N.Y., who was killed on August 27th.

Meanwhile, the Village Voice has a new reporter covering the off-hours moments of the RNC delegates…she works as a waitress at a strip club. Naturally, she was propositioned on the first night the RNC was in town.

Here are some of the plots against the Republican party being planned by the evil liberal menace, according to Bernadette Malone, a columnist for the National Review and other right-wing publications:

• Releasing swarms of mice to terrorize delegates.
• Dressing up as RNC volunteers and giving false directions to old ladies.
• Hiring prostitutes with AIDS to seduce Republican visitors and persuade them that they don’t need to use condoms.

I hope Crystal remembered to pack the mice.