Things that suck

When I moved in with rothko, we bought a vacuum cleaner. At the time we were living in a fully carpeted apartment in Malden, MA. Money was tight, so I did some research via Consumer Reports and bought a Sharp vacuum cleaner. Unfortunately, I overlooked one detail. While excellent on carpets, the vacuum cleaner was entirely unsuitable for hard wood floors. After a couple of years we moved into an apartment with wood floors, and the Sharp took up residency in the basement.

A modern bestiary

The Pube Fairy: The malevolent entity which visits your house from time to time, and distributes pubic hairs in places they can’t possibly have arrived at without outside aid. e.g. the kitchen sink, the toaster, the guest room light switch.