We finally got to watching A.i.: Artificial Intelligence. We’re probably the last people alive who haven’t seen it, so I trust you will allow me the indulgence of a few spoilers in the course of my criticism. Let’s start with the big issue: the movie has the most egregious deus ex machina ending I have seen in years of movie-watching. It’s so hideous that it could be used as the canonical example when educating future generations of movie makers in what not to do.

Movie magic

Hollywood loves remakes. The trouble is, they only ever seem to remake movies that were perfectly good the first time. The thinking seems to be that since Psycho was a great movie the first time, all we have to do is make a near-exact copy, and couples will drop $20 to go see it again. The other popular option is to take a perfectly good movie that suffers from having too many English or Australian people in it, and make a crappy copy on the cheap in Hollywood.

Planet Of The Apes

The 2001 remake. Ugh. I’d heard it was a stinker, but Tim Burton’s made some great movies, so I decided to watch it anyway. It seems from the commentary that Burton was mainly interested in the aesthetics of having a bunch of great actors dressed up in really good ape suits. He does a great job of coming up with a convincing fantasy world of semi-civilized apes; it’s the SF pieces and the plot that make this a stinker.