Review: Battlefield Earth

We just found the time to watch Battlefield Earth. As I mentioned a while back, this movie is allegedly worse than Xanadu, which I had rated as the absolute worst movie I’ve ever watched. So, how does Battlefield Earth compare? Well… The first thing to note about the movie is that the entire thing is shot in tilt-o-vision. Every single scene has the camera at an odd angle. Not just slightly, either—we’re talking 30 or even 45 degrees.

Jeff the Pacifist Bomb

Once upon a timer there was a young bomb named Jeff. He was a fearful clever bomb, he had studied Political Signs at Umbrage University, and had a First Degree in Burns. He was well-red on Oriental matters and had studied the great works of Nagasaki and Hiroshima. One day Jeff woke up to find himself on board a jet plane, just like his hero Tom Cruise. At once he got a little nervegas, as he was bomb shy, and he realized he would soon be meeting Persians unknown.