Homeless hotspots

This week at SXSWi a Homeless Hotspots campaign has been causing debate. It seems there are plenty who approve of the scheme, so I thought I’d come up with a few more ideas for next year.

  1. Homeless Coffee Tables. It’s hard to juggle a Starbucks latte and an iPad. Let one of our homeless hold the coffee for you while you Tweet what you just overheard.
  2. Homeless Umbrellas. The weather’s been pretty bad, so why not make use of our special mobile umbrellas? While you focus on your conference program, a homeless will hold an umbrella over your head so you don’t get wet.
  3. Homeless Bike Racks. Place your front wheel between his legs, he’s been trained to grab hold of it. We’ve given him a six pack of Lone Star so he’s not going anywhere.
  4. Homeless Ashtrays. Some of you still smoke, but for cost-saving reasons we don’t have ashtrays everywhere in the convention center. Instead, we’ve equipped several homeless with asbestos-woven T-shirts with a pouch at the bottom.

Hey, get off your high horse, they’re employment opportunities don’cha know?