Jews and Palestinians, together at last

A scientific investigation discovered that Jews are genetically so close to other Middle Eastern racial groups that there is absolutely no basis for defining Jewishness on the basis of genetic difference or matriarchal descent. Jews and Palestinians are racially the same. So far, so painfully obvious to everyone except the people concerned.

However, the journal which published the study has faced such howls of protest from outraged Jews that it has actually written to subscribers asking them to tear out the article from their copies and destroy it.